I’m really tired of having every blog post I write be about how I haven’t written one in like a week.
You’d think I would have learned by now. I tend to get overly excited and obsessed with new ideas (like writing a blog post every day for a month!) and then about a week in it loses it’s excitement and I move on to other things (like writing poetic responses to my favorite songs).
I try really hard to keep myself on track… but I get lost in my excitement of new things.
Yesterday at church, we hosted Ps David Gilpin from Hope City, UK. In his sermon, he talked about the four temperaments (it’s a personality test that traces all the way back to Ancient Greece… Which is why the names are so funny). I’d taken it once before, but I remember being more concerned with what I thought I SHOULD be instead of what I actually was that my results were skewed.
Anyway, I’m Sanguine, which is the fun, social, excitable personality. As I was reading about it, one of the characteristics is that we jump quickly into exciting things and then fall out of them just as quickly when they become un-exciting.
I’m a firm believer in personality tests. I’m an ENFP, a 7 on the Enneagram, and (now) a Sanguine.
But I also believe that those tests aren’t an excuse to just let ourselves run wild in whatever our tendencies are just because our personality dictates it.
Those two beliefs often put me at odds with myself. Because how can I be excited about who I am while also trying to change it?
I’ve forced myself into a lot of situations and tendencies (such as an obsession with following the rules and being on time…) because I was trying to “correct” what I thought was wrong with me.
But last night, in one of the most freeing messages about salvation and holiness I’ve ever heard, Ps Gilpin said,
“Don’t throw away who you are in an attempt to become holy.”
I’d never thought about it like that before. I know we are supposed to become more like Christ, but I always associated that with becoming less like myself.
He said that the things we love and who we are doesn’t need to change, it just has to be unattached from selfish desires and reattached to God.
I’ve got a lot to mull over after last night, but in the mean time, I’m going to attempt to keep writing blog posts… But I can’t guarantee it’ll be every day.