Gratitude In The Mess

I had the hardest time writing this today… Not because I didn’t want to be vulnerable or because I was struggling with a specific topic. My mind was just drawing a blank. I even googled “personal essay prompts” just to get an idea of what people write about when they post blogs. I found list upon list, but nothing really spoke to me. I tried listening to music, but I gave up after finding a playlist that sounded like a dying transformer.

So instead of trying to be inspiring or deep or whatever I feel like I’m supposed to be on her, I’m just going to tell you about my day and see if that goes somewhere.

This morning, I drank a delicious iced lavender latte at Civil Coffee in Highland Park while talking about spiritual gifts with my pastor.

For lunch, I ate a subway sandwich, even though I’m supposed to be gluten free. It wasn’t even that good… I’m not sure why I did that.

This afternoon, I stared at a wall while trying to be creative. That’s probably not the way to go about being creative and I should seriously rethink my strategy.

This evening, I hung out with the group of people I choose to call my family. It was ALL IN TEAM NIGHT for C3LA. It’s basically just a celebration of how cool our community is and I love it. I always feel so full of love when I leave, even if I came with a bad attitude.

I have so many feelings coming out of today:

Happy because my day was filled with people.

Annoyed because I didn’t get as much done as I wanted.

Upset because I wasn’t intentional with my eating choices.

A bit anxious because … rent.

Inspired by my leaders and the people I serve with.

But mostly… Today, I feel grateful.

I was reminded today that the last two years of my career wasn’t the norm. Most people don’t graduate and start at the job I started at. And even if it’s not where I wanted to end up, I shouldn’t discount the experience.

I look around at the people I love and I’m so grateful for them. Not everyone has a community like the one I’m part of.

I may have been annoyed because I stared at the wall for an hour or anxious because I had to pay my rent, but it was while pursuing something I love and it was the wall in my Los Angeles apartment – a dream I love, in a home I love, in a city I’ve wanted to live in my entire life.

I ate gluten today even though I told myself I wasn’t going to, but I’m healthy enough that it doesn’t effect me immediately.

In a lot of ways, today was a bit of a mess. But there is always something to be grateful for, even in the mess.

What moments in your life today are you grateful for?



Gratitude In The Mess

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